I want to talk about how to stop overthinking. If you are trying to make changes in your life like me, you want to take action and make progress. The problem is…you are caught in your thoughts, different ideas, and different recommendations.
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I am going to share the internal conflict that I struggled with recently and how I learned how to stop overthinking. Since I was inside my head, I wasn’t able to take effective action. As you may know from my previous videos, I have been working hard to overcome my shyness and social anxiety, especially around the opposite sex. I have been going out to malls, bars, and streets, meeting and talking to various people I have never spoken to before. It involves cold approaching people. As a result, you are never sure about what type of reaction you will get back (which REALLY challenges your fear of rejection).
To help me along the process, I was added to a Whatsapp group of guys who are working on the same thing. I would be able to go out with them and kickstart me along my journey. However, I found that they are heavily into “pickup“. They are very outcome-focused, talking a lot about getting laid and using the traditional pickup slang. However, I don’t like how focused they are on what they can GET from a girl. They are less focused on what value they can offer TO a girl. I think it is healthier to use your genuine personality to develop a genuine connection with a girl.
As a result of our difference in intentions, I became concerned that going out with some of these guys could do me more harm than good. I had already evaluated myself and heard multiple cases where cold approach helped people break out of their shyness in remarkable ways. But all of a sudden, I doubted myself. I scrambled to research other alternatives to cold approach. Meeting girls through similar activities, clubs, meetup groups…However, I have been doing this all along with no results.
There is a difference between being in THE PRESENCE OF girls that you have a lot in common with, and ACTUALLY TALKING TO them. I needed to practice actually starting those conversations and finding that common ground in a naturally comfortable away. Thus, going out and cold approaching people is the more effective method in this case. In truth, I had been overly focused on the negative imperfections of the situation (the goals of the guys in the Whatsapp group) instead of focusing on MY OWN objective.
So I want to share some strategies that will show you how to stop overthinking. They will get you outside of your head, and inside of your plan of action.
HOW TO STOP OVERTHINKING
LEARN WHAT HAS WORKED FOR OTHERS AND TRUST IN THAT
It’s important to learn what has worked for others and trust in that process. Whatever you are trying to take action on in life, figure out what has worked for other people. What did they do to find success in that area? Take a look on YouTube or advice forums and find multiple people who have authentic success trying a certain method. Then, follow a similar plan of action. For example, there are countless people who have overcome shyness by going out and talking to people: Stefan from Project Life Mastery, Joe Ducard, Myke Macapinlac of Social Confidence Mastery, etc. You don’t need to start a plan of action from scratch, just emulate other people.
FORM A PLAN OF ACTION AND AVOID CONSUMING TOO MUCH INFORMATION
The next step is to form your plan of action. While doing so, you want to make sure that you avoid consuming too much information. By taking in too many ideas and recommendations, this will only give you “analysis paralysis”. You will prevent yourself from taking action because you don’t know how to stop overthinking. I heard somewhere that you want to be taking about 2 hours of action for every 1 hour of information that you consume. The greater emphasis should always be on action.
CARRY OUT PLAN OF ACTION CONSISTENTLY FOR 6 MONTHS
The next thing you want to do is spend time carrying out your plan of action consistently. It is very important that you make it a habit if you want to see lasting progress. Do it 3-4 times a week. Nowadays, I am going out this often to practice talking to people. Yeah, it takes a lot of work. Yeah, it takes dedication. BUT…I am focused on what I really want to accomplish at the end of all this. I want to have a loving relationship with a beautiful woman, and that’s what motivates me.
So my advice to you is this…try your plan of action for 6 MONTHS. I know it seems like a while, but by the end of the 6 months, you will have a decent idea of whether what you are doing is working or not. If you are capable of making progress, you should see some by then.
JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP TO LEARN FROM AND IMPROVE WITH
While you are out taking action, find a group of people working on the same thing as you. You can join a mastermind group, find a group on Facebook, or find other like-minded people to support you along your journey. I am a part of Facebook groups, especially one in particular, where I post after I come back from a day out. I discuss my experience talking to people that day, getting feedback on what I could do better next time and encouragement to keep going! This gives you people to hold you accountable to making progress and also helps you learn along the way. The faster you learn, the more you can make progress. The internet is a GREAT tool to find people out there tackling the same problems as you, so use it to your advantage!
IF YOU DON’T SEE PROGRESS, THEN YOU CAN CONSIDER ALTERNATIVES
I highly doubt that you won’t see any progress after 6 months of consistent work, especially from something that has helped many people overcome similar issues. However, if you STILL don’t see ANY progress at that point, then I think it is okay to consider some other alternatives that can work for you. Don’t give up altogether, but you can find another practical plan that can work for you. Certain action plans may not always cater to a certain person at a certain time, based on other personal conditions. For example, they may be dealing with a severe mental illness. As a result, it may be better that they start with something else before they take a specific action.
YOU ARE READY, GO AND TAKE ACTION NOW!
I hope this article has helped you learn how to stop overthinking, and shift that energy onto your plan of action in whatever area of life you want to change. I wish you all the best and I know that you are capable of making some awesome transformations in your life!
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